Monday, February 21, 2005

Light under light, dark under dark. So sayeth the panty police.

Victoria is renowned for all seasons in one day and the weather did not let us down when we organised our annual Family day.

The pony rides were booked. The face-painters, clowns and fairies were a vision of tulle, diaphanous wings, glitter and red noses.
Balloon animals were being twisted and squeaked into their bipedal forms and the onions were caramelising on the barbecue.

Then the sky opened and the rain came down.
Umbrella escorts were organised for the littlest of little people and their care-givers. Hasty thank you and see you next time was exchanged and the lunch ended.
Alas, this service did not extend to TEAM SAG Staff (mainly due to the lack of umbrellas). One staff member who that morning had fatally grabbed a dark coloured g-string panty instead of a light coloured one was caught with her big white arse inside her big white pants as a display all of its own.
Thankfully a fellow staff member who demands more from his aesthetic than most of us offered her a jumper to tie around the offending sight.

The lesson here is always match your underwear to your outerwear and personally I can't believe this is not covered in Management 101.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Memo to all staff. A massive power vacuum has been identified and the restructure needs restructuring. Thank you for your patience.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Fire Alarm!

Today was my first day back in the paddock.

Like many organisations we have fire drills and false alarms. Today as I was attending to my e-mail the fire alarm ALARMS me. I work in a multi-storey building and this thing makes it shake!
Me, I've grabbed my bag and I'm out the door. TEAM SAG'S Fire Marshals 1 & 2 are brewing tea...
Colleagues 1-5 are variously worried about:
  • 1. Client confidentiality if he leaves his desk all messy and the marshalling point is in the sun, so he's going to stand in a shady spot
  • 2. Grabbing their lunch and a magazine and the salt and pepper and...
  • 3. Not spilling the coffee or dropping the newspaper and "do you think I can take one of the office chairs to sit down on?"
  • 4. Nothing and not moving out of the office
  • 5. How far the marshalling point is from the building and it's so hot and my legs hurt and Jim from upstairs really does smell doesn't he and look at the hair on that woman and...
I can only assume that my recent overseas travel made me aware of risk and respectful of the structures that are in place for my safety.

Yes, it turned out to be a false alarm.
If we ever have a real fire, all at TEAM SAG will be well-done or overcooked, except for me the rarest of them all...