MAJOR "Stormin" A. Teacup

The Ballad of Biscuit Bob
Sung to the theme of "The Beverly Hillbillies"

(sing out loud for full effect)

Come and listen to the story 'bout Biscuit Bob
Most of his co-workers think he is a knob
Then one day while policin' guest food
He saw sumpin missin'- so he mumbled sumpin' crude!

...Nicked biscuits, that is... filched fruitcakes...
and half the tea!

Well the next thing you know Bob's pullin' out his hair
Not real smart cos there ain't a lot up there
He scrawled out a memo and squeal'd a piggy squeal-
"SOMEBODY HERE'S EATIN' BISCUITS EVR'Y MEAL!"

...Orange cream oinkers, that is... shortbread hawgs...

Now the bickies and the cakes are under lock and key
Gotta sign away your mum just to fix a cup a tea
You can starve right to death, you can whinge all day or sob,
But you'll never get a morsel out of Biscuit Bob!

...and stay away from my lunch now, ya hear?